Only a loving person — one who is already loving — can find the right partner. 只有愛人, 一個真正有愛的人, 可以找到正確的夥伴. This is my observation: if you are unhappy you will find somebody who is unhappy. Unhappy people are attracted towards unhappy people. And it is good, it is natural. It is good that the unhappy people are not attracted towards happy people; otherwise they would destroy their happiness. It is perfectly okay.這是我的觀察: 如果你不快樂, 你將會找到不快樂的人, 不快樂的人會吸引到不快樂的人. 這是好的, 這是自然的. 好的是不快樂的人不會被快樂的人吸引, 否則他們會破壞他們的快樂, 這是好的. Only happy people are attracted towards happy people. 只有快樂的人會吸引來快樂的人. The same attracts the same. Intelligent people are attracted towards intelligent people; stupid people are attracted towards stupid people. 物以類聚. 相同的吸引相同的. 聰明的人會吸引來聰明的人. 愚笨的人會吸引來愚笨的人. You meet people of the same plane. So the first thing to remember is: a relationship is bound to be bitter if it has grown out of unhappiness. First be happy, be joyful, be celebrating, and then you will find some other soul celebrating and there will be a meeting of two dancing souls and a great dance will arise out of it. 你遇到相同的人. 所以第一件事需要記住的是: 如果關係是由不快樂當中成長起來, 那這段關係一定會是痛苦的. 首先要成為快樂的, 高興的, 慶祝的, 然後你將會發現另外也是處於慶祝的靈魂, 然後這將會是2個舞蹈般的靈魂的會面, 然後偉大的舞蹈會因而產生. Don’t ask for a relationship out of loneliness, no. Then you are moving in a wrong direction. Then the other will be used as a means and the other will use you as a means. And nobody wants to be used as a means! Every single individual is an end unto himself. It is immoral to use anybody as a means. 不要因為出自於孤單而要求一個關係, 不. 那麼你會走在錯誤的方向, 那麼別人將會被當成一個工具被利用, 別人也會把你當作工具來利用你. 然而沒有一個人想要被當作工具而被利用. 把人當作工具來使用是不道德的 First learn how to be alone. Meditation is a way of being alone. 首先, 學習如何單獨一個人. 靜心就是成為單獨的一個方法. If you can be happy when you are alone, you have learned the secret of being happy. Now you can be happy together. If you are happy, then you have something to share, to give. And when you give you get; it is not the other way. Then a need arises to love somebody. 如果當你是一個人時你可以快樂, 你已經學習到成為快樂的秘密. 現在你可以和別人一起快樂. 如果你是快樂的, 你就有東西可以分享. 當你分享時, 你就是得到, 沒有其它的方法. 然後就會有去愛別人的需要升起. Ordinarily the need is to be loved by somebody. It is a wrong need. It is a childish need; you are not mature. It is a child’s attitude. 通常我們的需要是被別人愛, 這是一個錯誤的需要. 那是一個幼稚的需要, 你尚未成熟, 那是一個小孩子的態度. 先愛你自己 -------- 0 1 A child is born. Of course, the child cannot love the mother; he does not know what love is and he does not know who is the mother and who is the father. He is totally helpless. His being is still to be integrated; he is not one piece; he is not together yet. He is just a possibility. The mother has to love, the father has to love, the family has to shower love on the child. Now he learns one thing: that everybody has to love him. He never learns that he has to love. Now the child will grow, and if he remains stuck with this attitude that everybody has to love him, he will suffer his whole life. His body has grown, but his mind has remained immature. 小孩誕生, 當然, 這個小孩無法愛他的母親, 他尚未知道什麼是愛, 他尚未知道誰是媽媽, 誰是爸爸, 他是完全的無助, 他的存在還在整合當中, 他還不是一個主體. 他只是一個可能性. 母親必須愛他, 父親必須愛他, 這個家庭需要將愛給予這個小孩. 現在他學到一件事.那就是每一個人必須愛他, 他尚未學習到他必須去愛別人. 現在這個小孩會開始成長, 如果說他陷在這個觀念說每一個人必須愛他, 他整個生命將因此而受苦. 他的身體有成長但是他的頭腦還是停留在不成熟的階段 A mature person is one who comes to know the other need: that now I have to love somebody. 一個成熟的人就是他已經來到一個點, 知道別人的需要, 現在我需要去愛別人. The need to be loved is childish, immature. The need to love is mature. 被愛的需要是幼稚的, 不成熟的, 愛別人的需要是成熟的. And when you are ready to love somebody, a beautiful relationship will arise; otherwise not. 當你準備好去愛別人時, 一個美麗的關係會因此升起, 否則不會. “Is it possible for two people in a relationship to be bad for each other?” Yes, that’s what is happening all over the world. To be good is very difficult. You are not good even to yourself. How can you be good to somebody else? “有沒有可能說在一段關係中的兩個人會彼此傷害對方嗎?” 是的. 這就是全世界到處都在發生的事. 在關係中對別人好是困難的. 你甚至對你自己都不好, 你要如何對別人好呢? You don’t even love yourself! How can you love somebody else? Love yourself, be good to yourself. 你甚至都不愛你自己, 你要如何去愛別人呢? 愛你自己, 對你自己好一點. Your so-called religious saints have been teaching you never to love yourself, never to be good to yourself. Be hard on yourself! They have been teaching you be soft towards others and hard towards yourself. This is absurd. 你們所謂宗教的聖人一直在教導你們不要愛你自己, 不要對自己好, 對自己嚴厲一點, 他們一直在教導你們對別人柔軟一點, 對自己嚴厲一點. 這是荒謬的. I teach you that the first and foremost thing is to be loving towards yourself. Don’t be hard; be soft. Care about yourself. Learn how to forgive yourself — again and again and again — seven times, seventy-seven times, seven hundred seventy-seven times. Learn how to forgive yourself. Don’t be hard; don’t be antagonistic towards yourself. Then you will flower. 我教導你們最首要的事是對自己溫柔, 愛自己, 不要太嚴厲, 照顧你自己, 學習如何原諒自己, 一次又一次, 再一次.七次, 七十七次, 七百七十七次. 學習如何原諒自己, 不要太嚴厲, 不要把自己當做是敵人, 然後你將會開花. 先愛你自己 ------- 0 2

In that flowering you will attract some other flower. It is natural. Stones attract stones; flowers attract flowers. Then there is a relationship which has grace, which has beauty, which has a benediction in it. If you can find such a relationship, your relationship will grow into prayer;your love will become an ecstasy and through love you will know what the divine is. 你開花時, 你就會吸引其它的花朵, 這是自然的. 石頭吸引石頭, 花朵吸引花朵, 然後就會有優雅的, 美麗的, 受到祝福的關係. 如果你可以找到這樣的關係, 你的關係將會成長到真正的祈禱, 你的愛將會成為狂喜的, 透過愛, 你將知道什麼是神性.

摘自Ecstasy: The Forgotten Language